GoodFriday 2006

The day to keep account of.
Its a montage of life.

I heard someone's dead
when i landed in my home.
A grandma.
Who we hated first and then started
liking her.

It was good firday.
So all of us went to the church.
In between the ceremony
we all came to see this grandma.
In a freezer box
Kept inside an ambulance.
She just travelled a long distance from her home town
after a operation
to see her grand children
and left them very next day to god.

There is not much hue and cry
since this happend asa shock and
all are busy taking the body back to the native place.

I went inside the van.
Silent.
I prayed or not i don't know.
i came out.

Then i went to church again to
participate in the ceremony.
As part of that
im standing in a line
There's a cute baby
smiling before me.
A smile, which no one hates.

i smiled back.
she/he smiled again.
A wonderful smile.

Suddenly her face was changing.
she started crying.
A small cry.
Her mom is taking care of her.
Again.
Shes back to her
world's most beautiful smile.

As i move in the line
Im now standing before the cross
of jesus.
With blood coming out of his legs
hands, head, lips, heart.
He is dying.

I kissed his feet.
I turned back.
I don't know what am thinking
Theres this three flashes coming and going
The dead grandma/the smiling baby/the jesus on the cross.

I don't know does these things have any
Meaning in my life.
Im thinking. And im still thinking.

I'm changing!

This is my new mantra.
I'm Changing!
And i want to!

But How?

If possible i will become a
super human... beyond all powers..
to save this world.

But i need to change myself
for my good.
I'm good now also.
what to do.

I have a problem...
if i like someone say something.. which is good
i will follow it .. jus like that.
Ditto.

So i dont brake my bike.
Only when it is extremely needed.
A blind following.

Somebody said- Be yourself.
And i respect that person a lot.
So im myself all the time.
I do less acting.And i found
Its not good in day to day life
But i can't change it.
Which i try to change...
With the mantra

I'm changing!

I like the song -
'I want to break free' by Queens

I used to listen to it atleast once in a month.
[God gives me more time and less time free]

Oh i jus want to breaaaaaaaaak freeeeeeeeee.

Incomplete...

For long im searching my life.
and i put them in my blog as oneliners.

And meanwhile i saw a lot of blogs
which reflect the same.
some understands. some are excited.
but there is a search in everyone's life.

The welcome screen in my mobile says
'DESTINY'
i got a particular liking for that word.

I thought - whats the use of searching life?
Coz every other person is searching the same.
Nobody has any answers.
Literally.
Then what is the use of the useless search...
wasting a life time.
Not only me...
this search from the beginning of the human life...
its in the human soul.

If man is made as a part of the god/creator/or just the spirit
why this spirits are fighting there ownselves.
what is the use of killing a man/human
Coz death is freedom from this earth.
You are giving freedom.
If u kill Osama Bin Laden -
what is the use.
We dont know where he will be going after death.
If its a place beautiful than the life on earth
its just a freedom for him.
Its rather- let him live and dont let him die.
Make some solution or put pace maker in his body so that he never dies.
He sholud live and his life will become useless.

If Hitler is alive - he will be a lunatic by now.
If there is a medicine which can keep a man alive without death
that is the best punishment he will get.
Now they do the sin because they dont have any fear of death.
They will die at six or at sixty ... and the
aftermath nobody knows.